Monday, February 14, 2011

Excuses, and a Sickening Valentine's Day Tribute

Surely you must all be convinced that I've been eaten by a zombie.
Because why else would I abandon this blog for so long?

Well, allow me to assure that I have not...in fact...been eaten by a zombie.
Work, however, has chased me down, grabbed ahold of me, and bitten down like a fat kid on a cheeseburger.

For realz.

I've just been though my little freelance writing version of hell week. I crammed about 3 weeks' worth of projects into 6 days, and although the checks, whenever they are sent, will surely make it all worth it, for now, I'm simply spent.

I sat down at this computer ready to work, after a glorious 1-day vacation from hell week. But my brain has decided that work simply won't be on the agenda this morning.

And so here I am, visiting this blog after a nearly two-week hiatus.

But today? I'm not going to talk about zombies.
Those of you who visit strictly for the zombie content (as opposed to the delightfully saucy and well-thought-out prose) will want to shamble along.

Because today, of course, is Valentine's Day. And impending zombie apocalypse or not, I have an AMAZING husband who deserves a little credit.

It's hard to describe what makes him so amazing. Not because there are so few attributes to list, but because there are so many. Sure, everybody wants to find someone who treats them well. Someone who will cook them dinner AND clean the dishes, just because you're having an "off" day and would rather just sit down. Someone who will leave you cards and little notes, just because. Someone who will see each and every flaw that you possess and still firmly believe that you are the greatest thing to ever walked the planet (temper tantrums and all).

And of course, everybody also wants to find someone who makes their heart race just by looking at them. Someone who can kiss you and cause lightning to jolt through through your body. Someone who can be wearing a ratty pair of jeans and that shirt that you just HATE and still...STILL...look so handsom that your stomach flutters with butterflies, even though you're married and married people aren't supposed to feel that way.

Not to mention the fact that everybody wants a friend. Not just any friend, but a best friend. A person who knows you inside and out. A person you can get silly and crazy with. A person who will know when to cheer you up and when to just hold you and let you cry. A person who you truly and honestly like more than any other person in the world. A person who will be there for you 'till the end of time.

It is a lucky woman who finds all three qualities - and more - in her partner. I am beyond fortunate that I met a man so honerable, so kind, so wonderful as to be my soul mate. Because that's really what my husband is to me. A soul mate. A person who makes me feel more whole than I ever though I could when we're together, and inevitably takes something, some...part...of me with him when he leaves. A person who makes life worth living, even in its darkest hours. A person who you would rather spend 5 minutes loving than a lifetime of being alone. A person to love forever.

This is my husband. This is my friend and partner. My love and my soul mate. This love did not come into our lives easily, but every trial...every challenge...every obstacle that I had to rip and claw and bleed my way through to find him? Well, I'd do it a hundred times over, just for a glimpse of his face...for the feel of his touch.

Happy Valentine'd Day, my love. You will forever have my heart <3

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Home Improvement...For The Zombies

I've come to the conclusion that zombies wouldn't approve of my kitchen walls, which are no less than 5 different colors at the moment. I also don't think they'd approve of my kitchen cabinets, which are a disagreeable shade of green that was applied on top of a coat of varnish, causing the paint to scratch if you so much as look at it the wrong way (and I've been known to give my cabinets the 'stink eye' on many an occasion).

My husband has come to a similar conclusion about the living room, which has a wall directly in between the fireplace and the rest of the house that causes the living room to heat to a balmy 84 degrees while the back bedrooms exist in a state of sub-artic permafrost.

Zombies, he says, cannot STAND inefficient heating and cooling.

So this month's zombie preparedness strategy will consist of sanding, staining, painting, and one giant-ass hole cut into the sheetrock.

We do this sometimes.
We talk for months...nay...years on end about this or that home improvement project, and then one day, for no clear reason, we run in, guns blazing, ready to go balls deep in this bitch of a house.
It's magical.
We crank up the tunes, put on our crappiest pair of jeans, and throw ourselves into a project as if the Devil himself was whipping us forward.
And then, a few weeks later, we're suddenly all, "woah, it's mountain biking season" and our house stays in the exact condition at which it was left on that fated day.

No...seriously.
Observe the half-sanded wall that we couldn't manage to fix for our wedding day:


Also observe that I can't manage to put my cake down to kiss my new husband.

In either case....ridic.

But that's how we roll.

And as long as we're both okay with it, the marriage stays reasonably happy, albeit in a state of relative chaos.

It's not that my house is a mess, I tell people, it's just a lot of different colors and textures and there's a lot of the outdoors inside.

But the zombies...yeah...they hate that shit.

So to prevent the zombies from flying into a rage, I'll fix the kitchen.
Because we all know that the only thing worse than a zombie is a zombie whose sense of style has been offended.

Makes 'em bite harder.