I'm fully aware that the zombie apocalypse will end civilization as we know it, meaning that, if it occurs before next Wednesday, my efforts spent on work will have come to naught, and I'll be cursing the gods for wasting valuable pre-zombie apocalypse time writing about [insert boring medical condition here] instead of educating myself.
However.
If the zombie apocalypse does not occur before next Wednesday, and I abandon this project for zombie preparedness, I will have some truely disgruntled clients who will doubtless cease to use me, and I'll have to start hooking (again) to pay the rent.
I would also like to point out that the time between now and next Wednesday also includes my birthday, and we all know how I feel about cake...
which is decidedly less enthusiastic than I feel about turning 29, which is 1 year from 30, which is just plain old.
So if the zombie apocalypse DOES come, I will miss out on delicious cake, but at the same point, avoid turning 29.
In short, either possibility has benefits and drawbacks, but in the end, I feel that work takes precedence, lest I be forced to return to the mean streets to make a living performing unspeakable sexual acts on strangers.
(mom...if you're reading this...I'm totally kidding. I've never had sex. Ever)
I'm sure you all understand.
In the meantime, Mikey the Horse will be standing watch in my absence.
He hates zombies.
Does your horse...ahem...need some lovin? Because, and I'll try to keep this tactful, I sort of do that same thing at my wife.
ReplyDeleteYou know...when I want some lovin.
It absolutely amazes me that I ever lost my virginity.
Happy birthday Lilz! Hope you get everything your heart desires this year, including copious amounts of cake. Yum.
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